Cristela Alonzo

Cristela Alonzo

@cristela9

Followers25.4K
Following667

Podcast: https://t.co/sTcYH4zcX4 Stand-up 🎤: #LowerClassy @netflix 🗣:Cruz Ramirez in #Cars3 Book: #MusictoMyYears Sitcom: #Cristela https://t.co/WP8RrXhbPI

Los Angeles, CA
Joined on July 16, 2018
Statistics

We looked inside some of the tweets by @cristela9 and here's what we found interesting.

Inside 100 Tweets

Time between tweets:
an hour
Average replies
85
Average retweets
542
Average likes
4815
Tweets with photos
0 / 100
Tweets with videos
11 / 100
Tweets with links
0 / 100

Hay ciertas personas que no saben que es extraño retorno de Diana Salazar....y se les nota...

Quoted @washingtonpost

Army confirms Vanessa Guillén’s remains found near Texas base, soldier’s family says https://t.co/MFAN0rT8Ro

My condolences to the Guillen family. I pledge to keep working toward #JusticeForVanessaGuillen. https://t.co/pH3PtT8i5U

I’m sorry, a Cardassian? In the White House?! Not while I’m still a Starfleet officer.

also, I don't know what the books are about but I know it's magic...

the harry potter woman should pull off her greatest magic story and disappear..

THROWBACK: Again, from the 2016 @NetflixIsAJoke special #LowerClassy. I wrote this maybe 6 years old (might be older) and still relevant as hell. We legalized weed before immigrants... https://t.co/UoBREvshAO

When people tell me they support Trump and use God as a reason, I correct them and tell them they support Pontius Pilate. Happy Sunday. Go to church if you go or go to Church's if you like fried chicken.

My computer just tried to shame me by telling me my daily screen time use. I think my mom is trying to communicate with me from the other side.

I feel like the more expensive the clothes are, the more serious the models are wearing the clothes.

Quoted @GOPLeader

Dear Democrats: You cannot save America if you don’t even believe in her.

OHHHH! No wonder the GOP is driving America to the ground. They think it's a woman and has no rights to make its own choices. Got it! Thank you for cleaning it up! (Insert final jigsaw puzzle here) https://t.co/rYIzMCf70D

Quoted @KwCongressional

Beyoncé is not even African American. She is faking this for exposure. Her real name is Ann Marie Lastrassi. She is Italian. This is all part of the Soros Deep State agenda for the Black Lives Matter movement. BEYONCÉ YOU ARE ON NOTICE! #GreatAwakening #QAnon #WWG1GWA #Trump2020

Psst. He’s running for office and guess what? He’s a Republican.... Pass it on... https://t.co/nSQYzsQhxP

Quoted @FrankLuntz

These words are inscribed on the wall at Auschwitz, where a memorial is maintained so we never forget. Leaving most monuments in place while stating the inhumanities associated with them is a better lesson for future generations than tearing them down indiscriminately in anger. https://t.co/avs8x99OtV

These words are inscribed on the wall at Auschwitz, where a memorial is maintained so we never forget.

Leaving most monuments in place while stating the inhumanities associated with them is a better lesson for future generations than tearing them down indiscriminately in anger. https://t.co/avs8x99OtV

If this is his case, then replace the confederate statues with slaves so people can honor those who suffered while remembering a dark moment in our history since that's what the Holocaust memorial does... Comparing General statues to concentration camps is quite the take.... https://t.co/i5MiQ1qtfI

Wubba wubba... The homecoming queen’s got a gun...

Some of you don’t know the difference between Uptown and Downtown Julie Brown and it shows...

This tweet is for like 5 people: The Nook's Shop and Able's Store is like the Tardis in that it's bigger on the inside... Why yes, she is single...

The bouncing ball is COVID https://t.co/iPutysh9LV

Quoted @scottgairdner

The White House 4th of July entertainment is a white guy singing Bruno Mars https://t.co/fuHkAtgaZx

Scroll down....read the third tweet of this thread. Merry Christmas. https://t.co/alN6IZXVde

If Kanye runs for President....nobody will be able to afford the campaign merchandise.

I'm getting to that age where I realize that Ouiser Boudreaux was just misunderstood. Poor angel.

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