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@TempestaNesta

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Depressed

Joined January 2015
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
back to loathing myself. A friend once remind me of the danger of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I guess I have engineered my own downfall
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
I'm a coward, yes. I betray my very best friend because I'm a coward who refused to take responsibility. I'm despicable. There you go, back
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
I thought about suicide often. In fact, I've been thinking about it from time to time in the past decade but never had the guts to do it
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
a fucked up thinking, yeah. I'm nowhere near 'normal' though. I know I fake many things in life. Out of fear maybe, shyness, anxiety, etc
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
experience the same. more so because my age. Always thought that I would never really be in a relationship though, let alone in a marriage
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
I miss her tonight. heck, i miss her night and day. last time I fall in love I could not forget a girl for around 2 years. I might
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
I lost (ditched) my friends too. Always thought that im a lonely man despite them. But at least I had them. Now I have nothing.
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
*two jobs
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
I lost too job because of this. Well, not lost maybe, I jumped ship once I feel stressed with the job.
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
I would often feel shy, afraid of something and then sabotage myself before loathing myself for it. It's like a cycle, a vicious cycle
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
Not me I guess. They couldn't stand me. Hell, I couldn't stand myself. I loathe myself. A self-loathing, depressed man. What a surprise..
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
Sure. There are people who are awkward, shy, boring or whatever. But many of them manage to at least be in a relationship
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
I have approached three women so far. They all left me. Boo hoo. Seemed like they never really felt comfortable around me
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
Thing, maybe. It might explain my aloofness around women.
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
My father was very aloof, distant. He still is. But my aunt once told me that his father (my grandfather) was, too. So it's a generational
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
A teenager. I was raised in a broken home. Our parents never really thought us about how to deal with life. We were not close.
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
But I still did it as an adult on several occasions. I think I never really develop my emotional intelligence. Always feel that I think like
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
A little girl got near me in my elementary school days. I didn't react. I even hated her for doing that. For a kid, that's kinda normal
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@TempestaNesta
A Fool
3 years ago
Default.. I don't know.. attitude, manner, reaction. I can't act 'normal' around women. Especially those I like. I remember back then when
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